The Magnificent Seven: The Motion Picture 2016

Cast of The Magnificent Seven (2016)

 Sigh.  Sure aren't enough REEEEEEBOOTS this year!  GB must be thrilled!  Movie trailers over the last few years have insisted on a subwoofer-dive (also known as a bass drop) effect.  You can hear it here:




  It's supposed to create a sort of focusing effect that draws attention in some way, perhaps slowing-down the action in a scene, adding dread, etc.  I'm pretty sure it was first used in Star Wars (1977) when Obi Wan was shutting down the Death Star's tractor-beam (which had script written in its own Empire language-base, later changed to English for the ruined, "Special" editions).  You can CLICK THIS LINK to see the original theatrical shut-down sequence (having a subwoofer helps).  In Star Wars, the effect was put to good use.  It's pretty easy to duplicate on a computer, just a (for x=500 to 1; play sound (x) Hz; next) kind of a thing (syntax based on whatever your flavor-language-of-the-month is).  In Star Wars it was likely done using an analog tone-generator and a knob, manually, but this can also be accomplished with a Theremin.  Whatev's.

Hi, yes.. I play backup rhythm Theremin in the band Gay Robot, have you heard of us?  No?  Well pooie.

  Now you'll hear this subwoofer-dive bass-drop in a lot of movie trailers, usually inappropriately so.  I remember the worst such case was in the trailer for the film, Disney's The Lone Ranger (2013) at the 2:17 mark when a train-piece flies through the sky.  What is that, a wrench?  Something like that...




Really?  So a train piece makes an electronic, sub-woofer sound as it's thrown?  Let's try it.



  

 

Magnificent Seven Gays wins a Tony

Nope.  The movie bombed terribly because it was very unrealistic.  I find a film that requires me to NOT have to have a suspension of disbelief usually is very good, though some boring dramas are painful to watch as they're very dry so that formula is not the best one to make a good movie.  There is a need for a bit more to keep my interest, but attention-to-little-details, (such as the minutia in Ridley Scott's Alien (1979)) make for a good film, as well as actor-interaction (which makes Walking Dead and Captain America: Civil War ultimately fail for me, personally because they all act like 13 year-old kids).  By comparison, in Alien, though not "perfect", the actors are at-odds over contractor fees, quarantine concerns, power-struggles very subtle over finishing coffee.. very real stuff.  Background items in Alien such as checklist yellow-stickies as temporary procedures is spot-on with current space-operations today.  Little details like catalogue cut-outs taped to personal sleeping quarters of the latest new car when they get back, etc. are very distant and subtle, and it makes for a realistic ambiance.  Even the beer in the film was Coloradan with Weyland/Yuntai logos on it (the buyers for the ore and also Ash's over-riding agency that makes him attempt to collect an alien) made just for a few scenes!  It's little stuff like that which make a film great.

Alien (1979) beer in the background actually their corporate logo!

  People and clothes being dirty when it's, well, dirty outside makes sense.  The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (1967) is a dirty Western because showers were rare and hard to come-by and often too expensive over a cigar anyway, as well as barbers and shaving.  John (Marion) Wayne film-lovers like that King Arthurian Legend Western dimestore style where the secondary hero is shot, turns on his stiff-bodied heel in a pirouette, still blood-trickle out of the corner of the mouth, lilly held against the chest, falls, and tells John, "Get 'em for me, Chief!" then tilts-head and dies quietly, eyes closed.  Stupid.  It's my choice though.  It's what I like.  Not the John Wayne, Disney Western stuff, I like the grittier, rawer, more realistic stuff.  Just me.  I've lived a LOT of life.  I've done a LOT of things; been in the dirt; been in war twice (not in a trench, mind-you).  I've seen C-beams glitter off the shoulder of Orion, etc.  

Promo-poster for the new Magnificent Seven 2016

  I prefer the real stuff. (careful on that click)..;p  There's very little of that now-a-days.  Keep in-mind that if it's a fantasy/sci-fi piece, if it keeps with the physics-defying mythology, I'm okay with that too.  Hercules is very strong, Superman can indeed fly, Ninjas can teleport with a smoke-bomb, lasers make sounds (pew-pew), sure.  Okay.  It's accepted as mythological okay-ness, and my suspension of disbelief is not taxed.

Simple truths, Tuco.. simple truths.

This year (like 1996), there are no very good movies yet, and only a handful of mediocre films, which is concerning to the cinemaphile such as myself.  Zootopia was a kid's flick, but okay if you're into that.  I just watched Deadpool (a character I despise) and didn't like it, though I give 1/2 star for a poorly-rendered X-Men's Colossus who stayed in-character.  Wade is a discount, sociopathic Spiderman with a penchant for vulgarity who I don't care about his survival because he's quasi-immortal and therefore very boring like Marvel's Beyonder.  Is anyone worried that Wade is going to die?  Nope.  Writers had to create tension by adding a mortal girlfriend.  Yawn.  Deadpool is a jerk who's immortal with a bad, sleepy storyline that makes me care less about him more than ever.  Got great reviews though.

Deadpool disagrees with me.  UN-sucks?

  I consider myself a Modernist; that is, awesome comes from hard-work.  Today's society is the opposite, Post-Modernism, which indicates that everything is equally perfect as-is, which means nothing really is truly great and like Ourbus it eats its own tail.  Effort is not required in post-modernism, you just get.. well, lucky.  It almost has an early Arabic feel to that, such as in the earliest tales of 1001 Arabian Nights which I recommend reading when you're over 30 years old.  The recent Real Car Reviews nicely touches on that during a review of the PT Cruiser.  Ultimately, this lazy Generation Zero and the forthcoming Snowflake Generation want to be special without being special, and Deadpool is circumstantially omnipotent and simultaneously narcissistic-sociopathic.  Definitely the "rap music" generation gets this guy, success = no-work + easy-crime.  Whereas a Modernist thinks, success = suffer + work over time.  It's my opinion the post-modernist will fail, surviving only on liberal-minded socialism to trickle-feed the unlucky (99% of every lazy person) and the Nation will fall.  Marijuana helps this along nicely and feeds into that design, "The rich will share their wealth with my lazy, high ass so I can do nothing!"  The rich MUST be FORCED to do so.  The Modernists who WORKED MUST pay-up!  Clash of psychologies there.

WHAT'S your problem with society again and HOW do you not fit-in with everyone else, Mike?

 So there's a remake of one of the most world-renowned films of all-time, The Magnificent Seven.  This film was made in 1960 and is considered one of the best Westerns ever made.  Arguably I don't think so as some of the acting is hammy at-times.  Watch the 1960 trailer on YouTube if you want.  It's not terrible, and the overall theme is very good.  

Magnificent Seven on-location 1960.

  This movie is considered sacred-ground, that is, it's part of the Criterion Collection I mentioned earlier as being culturally significant, such as is with Lawrence of Arabia or Star Wars (the first one, sorry Millennials [not]) and, apparently Ghostbusters The Motion Picture 2016.  Such films in society are perfect and cannot be improved-upon.  Recently, such movie-hacks such as JJ Abrams have tried to sneak-in their versions of Star Trek II and Gone in 60 Seconds (the original 1974 is brilliant aside from non-actors attempting to act.. I recommend watching it, and also the 60-second VITAL introduction by the director's wife now on BluRay).

Reboots are the BEST MOVIES EV-VAR!

  Indeed, it was based-on the 1954 film Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa as an "Americanized" (aka worsened.. though sometimes bettered) version.  So, what would I have changed?  Better acting and a slower-pace.  I wouldn't mind the director of Hell on Wheels, particularly the saloon gunfight-scene in the most recent episode puts Sergio Leone to shame (or honors him, whichever) to re-direct The Magnificent Seven 2016.  Not happening.  Might as well have been Michael Bay.  Check out the trailer..  as you do, I want to point-out that any subwoofer-dive bass-drop gets one-star lost from the overall score.  Maximum score can be 5 stars.  Each bass-drop removes a full star.  Any non-period music also removes a full-star (sorry Tarantino).



What's more insulting is the music, which is a remake of House of the Rising Sun by a band called, "Heavy Young Heathens" borrowed insultingly by "The Animals" (1964) which a song about a whore-house in New Orleans.  The Magnificent Seven is originally about a group of hired gunmen to protect a village in Mexico.  This is stupid.  There's plenty of Mexican songs to choose from that would be appropriate, or heck, they could MAKE one, but this generation is all about stealing, not working.  Modernism v. Post-Modernism.  

What's-a-matter, Mikey?  Don't you like big, thick Westerns?   I got a hint, Mikey, I ain't gotta gun per-se.

  Movie machines rob and scavenge music hoping no one notices.  Sorry, I do, and it's inappropriate and rude. Sure, the composer's gonna get a big cut of $900,000 but James Horner or John Williams in your arsenal means it's going to be memorable and noteworthy and take you up 2 stars JUST FOR THE MUSIC instead of a garage band attempting Tom Sawyer by Rush for $3.50 and street-cred.  No, you won't get lucky, and neither will that garage band.

So, SEVERAL subwoofer-dives, SEVERAL modern-music licks to get the distracted-generation to look away from their iBricks, and cut-scenes, and jump-cuts, and bang-bang!  Oh, and look, a black-guy because we're modern and black-lives-matter!  Not to say that in 1860 he'd be taken into slavery in Mexico, or Texas, or wherever, and the prejudice at the time would make him ineloquent and speak pidgen-talk like Jim from Huckleberry Finn.  It would be an odd curiosity he'd have an IQ over 70 and 99.9% couldn't read or be allowed a fire-arm or be allowed to ride a horse.  Yep.  He'd be mocked as a curio and attacked EVERYWHERE in the entire world except parts of Africa (where he'd just be attacked by warring tribesmen, and THEN enslaved).  Sure.  Black cowboy.  Okay, fine.  Impossible, but whatever.  Maybe in 1910 or 1920, but NOT 1860.  Impossabaruuuuu!

No!  MORE!  REBOOT-A-ROOOOOOOOS!

I'm not watching this junk.  Bad actors, bad acting, bad music, pew-pew.  Dumb, and it's no Criterion Edition Ghostbusters The Motion Picture 2016 5 STAR God-ness.

Ghostbusters 2016 reaction of all of America except me.

Chippy times...

Well Mike, what about an all-cowgirl cast of The Magnificent Seven?

and for the ladies..

I'm your cowboy.

No?  Okay how about this one...

I'll just lie here on this fallen tree limb and sort of wait with my lemon-Fruit-Stripe-gum-belt melts.

OUT.

Sony Pays for Positive Ghostbuster Reviews

  

  
  So the second worst movie of all-time-and-space just came out a bit ago,  Ghostbusters 2016: The Motion Picture.  The original had a very good chemistry and if you haven't seen it it's culturally significant enough to be in the Criterion Collection, which is a big deal.

Ghostbusters Criterion Collection Edition, making the film officially culturally significant for mankind.

  The new version has a female lead-role cast and is pretty terrible.  Jokes fall flat, the special-effects are television-worthy and low-budget, and the characters are not believable and also insultingly stereotypical.  I'm actually surprised the Black Lives Matter gang doesn't attack movie-go'ers because of Leslie Jone's vulgar portrayal of the black-community, making Madea 9: Tough Love starring Tyler Perry seem like Malcom: X.  It's painfully insulting to the point of making even me angry.  She might as well have worn black-face and announced "Mammy!" at every scene.  Yes, "Mammy!"  Now you say it right now.  Mammy!  There, you did it.  See?

Leslie Jones as Aunt Jemima in Ghostbusters 2016, honoring the struggle of ebony women everywhere
Junior love dem pan-cakes!  MAMMY!

  If you've seen the Clone Wars film that came out in the theaters in 2008 when the female lead role is asked, "You're a Jedi?" and she announces, "I'm a girl, you got a problem with that?  Hmph!"  Pout.. aaaaand.. end scene!  That's a wrap!  Ugh.  Stop.  Just stop. 

This was Clone Wars in the theater.  I saw it.  God help me.

  Though the movie is bombing hard in the theaters and will not even break-even, Rotten Tomatoes as well as the dubious Washington Post are heralding this film as a 5-star winner.  Be advised that other 5-star films by RT are, Star Wars, Seven Samurai, Godfather, Cassablanca, Gone with the Wind, Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings, Blade Runner, 12 Angry Men (1957), Goodfellas, Chinatown, Enter the Dragon, The Thing (1982), Silence of the Lambs, The Sound of Music, Rear Window, Rocky, Once Upon a Time in the West, Ben Hur, and Lawrence of Arabia.  Oh, and apparently Ghostbusters 2016.  Yeah....  this new movie is 5 stars?  Best of all time?  So good it deserves to be saved and ^*&^ing maintained in an indestructible vault such that, in case all of mankind doth perish, all those movies listed above, along with, and rightly-so, Ghostbusters 2016 should be preserved for all time, lest we not walk silently into the ever night, let our souls be saved in art and through our best works of our existence to stand the test of Time for all eternity, let our voices be heard as a once and great species in the Universe!  God help us...

The new Ghostbusters 2016 film is more noble and awe-inspiring than this, apparently to the Washington Post

  The film deserves 1/2 star.  Go and create a small account on Rotten Tomatoes right now and rate is properly as 1/2 star.  My only guess is that Sony Pictures paid hundreds of people to give it a 5-star review, and The Washington Post which is now forever invalid to me as a money-grabbing, dishonest and dead rag of Satanic lies.  Sony spiked the punch in the same way Putin put his men in positions of law and power in the Ukraine 5 years prior to invading it to gunk-up the works and make the Ukrainian defence fail.

I've really put you through a lot, haven't I? Well, that's brothers for you: they always know which buttons to press. 

  It's not Rotten Tomatoes' fault, really.  It's just a database.  It can't scan for paid, immoral reviewers, though you'll notice that these reviewers ONLY HAVE ONE REVIEW!.. Yes, and that review is Ghostbusters 2016!  The movie was SOOOOOOOO good, sooooo amazing, that people RAN to their computers, logged-on and created accounts to review just THIS ONE film because it moved them so deeply on such an internal level, on a MOLECULAR level that they HAD to give this film 5 stars!  Oddly, a lot of these reviewers then deleted their accounts right after that one review as well.  So moved, they knew nothing would surpass such elegance, such grace, such pathos and perfection.  Right...

I have seen.. the greatest film ever made, in both past and future.. God's Light pales in comparison.  I have seen beyond God in Ghostbusters 2016, The Motion Picture.

  So.. watch it if you want.  I recommend stealing a copy than giving Sony your money, and when you rate it.  Rate it honestly.

Wonder Woman says, "Don't make me use my magic lasso on you!"

  Nice try, Sony, for trying to spike the punch-bowl with roofies.  Lies.  All lies.  Frack-you, Sony!


Chippy.

Annie Potts eat your heart-out.

..and for the ladies..

You like my stream?

OUT.

Iron Maiden Legacy of the Beast.. game?!

Eddie of Iron Maiden fights the Devil and his minions

Came out today on Apple and Android portable systems.  I found to install you have to "deny" not "allow" access to your photos, etc. when you pre-install.  Installation plays instrumentals of Maiden, and the screen has a 3D effect when you tilt-it.  Also, fun comments during install on the bottom, such as "Beckoning souls, Starting the Engines, Flying Like an eagle, Rolling shadows of the night, Sailing away like our fathers before us, Reincarnating Benjamin, Taming the Beast, etc."screaming for you, counting the minutes to midnight, etc."  Fun stuff as it mirrors various lyrics.





I was an early supporter of the game about 8 months ago and became a contributing founder for great Maiden swag coming in a few weeks.  I get to play as a Vampire-Hunter/Assassin instead of leather-jacket/tutorial Eddie, though you can get different Eddies after each world is beaten.

Game is a fast-paced, turn-based RPG.  Though you're not required to make your move, instrumental cuts from the original recordings make you want to respond quickly.  Think Final Fantasy X with various related Iron Maiden tracks in each scene that are relevant in each case.




Those familiar with most (or all) of the Iron Maiden songs, mythos, and albums will adore this game.  I found the "power-ups, evolutions, and level-ups" of various creatures in your party (think Megai-Tensi: Nocturne or Persona more-so than Pokemon due to the demonic nature) you can get into a groove.  Add that with timing-hit-attacks similar to Shadow Hearts: Covenant / New World and you've got some nice interaction.

Storyline is engaging, at least for an Iron Maiden fan as myself.  Music is very good cuts and mash-ups from the first to most-recent album.  Starts out in Christopher Lee's The Wicker Man world with occultists in excellent fashion.  Moving-around is board-game-like.  Combat is Final Fantasy turn-based strategy.  Character leveling is like Nocturne.  One could argue Final Fantasy and Nocturne are pretty much the same combat-system, with a combo-hit option tapping the screen at the right time akin to Shadow Hearts.

Oh, now I'm repeating myself..

Graphically it's best on a tablet.  I'd hate to try this on a phone.  Only for Apple and Android tablets right now.  Rumor has it a PS4 port is coming.

The Iron Maiden mythos is rich with characters and discovery, and the album-art (as seen above is some of the best stuff out-there).

5 Stars for Iron Maiden fans
2 Stars for casual gamers

Here's a chippy..

Wait, what?  Miley do you even 7th Son?

and, as usual.. one for the ladies..

OUT!

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared 5 - Mashup YouTube Reactions

  

Stay away from "fancy, show-off-y foods"!

  The 5th episode has caused quite a stir of the 6-part series, Don't Hug Me I'm Scared.  Lots of secret elements involved.  Here's a mashup reaction for your amusement.  I love the ebony gentleman in the top right with the red, white, and blue striped shirt btw; my kinda guy!  Woo hoo!



  The final installment will be tomorrow.  Here's your chippy..

Windy restaurant burger.  Silly girl, that's not how you burger!  Do you even burger?!

One for the ladies..

Burger King 4 Life!  You want a few fries?  Come and touch my tiny fry-fry?  You wanna fry-fry?

OUT.

Generation Snowflake

I'm important!  I just failed all my classes!  Love me because I don't try and I'm evil!  You made me this way!

  Media has become impotent through popular liberal-extremism tip-toeing.  This generation was all told they were "special" and got awards for attendance.  Delicate feelings and thin-skin is the result.  You see it in schools now, parents all taking their kids via car to junior-high, etc.  Bussing is almost obsolete.  Every kid is told their a precious little snowflake; they aren't.  Kids get awards for nothing and are told like some Game of Thrones psychotic prince-king that they are the most important person in the whole world. 

Watch mommy ignore you!  Learn by example, kids!  Daddy ain't comin' home. A smartphone is your daddy now. 

 Exceptionalism is met with disdain, though secretly the coaches and teachers admire kids who can rise above; a few kids pick-up on that and become even more jealous now that their minds are psychotic.  Only now are they leaking into society, this after-Generation Zero crowd, now the Generation Snowflakes oozing into colleges as "Social Justice Warriors" realizing that they're not all that special after-all, and therefore there must be some sort of minority-hatred from "white" older men, any excuse to be that pretty-princess or prince again, that free acceptance, that no-cost, no-effort winning like modern video-games where you re-spawn and can try-again countless times to which kids freak-out in frustration at the slight inconvenience to YouTube viewers' delight, smashing keyboards, cussing incoherently, destroying expensive technology..  Sigh. 

I'm your daddy now!  T-Mobile!

 Parents neglect by not smacking the kid upside the head and taking-away all technology from them, to include those $700 mind-numbing gadgets that reward without strife or effort.  Instant and FREE gratification no matter what.  Pete Holmes says it best here:



  Society as a whole has adapted to Gen Snowflake pretty quickly, accepting any kind of oddball behavior, such as wanting to use the girls' bathroom as a dude, being told they're a unicorn and making unicorn facilities for them to eat properly, food-fad "allergies" undiagnosed medically, and getting managment jobs with no work experience.  Amazing.  

Do we need tolerance?  Sure but we need to draw the line, and that line is Trigglypuff (above).

 Usually these kids end-up working at a fast-food place, however, and do a lot of pills, drugs, or what-not to "cope" with the evil in the world (aka reality).  Pretty sad.  Gen Snowflake's music is pretty sad too, and oh so delicate and empty, just like them!  Yay!  We need a war.. with a draft..  maybe that's why the youth doesn't want to vote Trump?.. because then they'd be expected to have to work for a living.  I'm talking to you PewDiePie!  And.. Trigglypuff (too far.. too far..)

"My .. my dad is a com.. computer!"

Here's Bree Olson, one of my MOST favorite Midwest chippy starlettes..

Chip!  "Hi Mike!  You're pretty awesome!  Let's get a cheeseburger!"

And, of course, for the ladies..

Hi there!  My name is Michael.  I'm in the middle.  Where's the fire?  In my pants!

OUT.  ^

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - A critical analysis of Ep. 5

  Red-Guy is long-gone.  In Ep.4 we saw that the internet corrupted his knowledge-base by understanding too much and being sucked-in. 

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared: Healthy Food Ep.6

 Children are affected by the internet.  Bird-Guy and Yellow-Kid sit alone, feeling something is amiss.  They've forgotten Red-Guy existed.  Lots of scenes from previous episodes litter the kitchen.

  A portrait of crayon of all three are sitting at a table, then in the next scene, Red-Guy is outside a window looking in on the picture!  Furthermore, Bird-Guy now has Ex's on his eyes, indicating he's dead!  Is it a warning from Red-Guy who escaped?  He also is represented by the red-phone later as a voice-of-reason to help the other two escape.

  The bread starts singing vaguely about food, steak, eggs, etc.  A can of vegetables also starts singing about food, warning about eating a snack such as cake.  A rowdy steak appears and warns about eating too much of Roy's Flakes or your teeth will turn "grey" (UK spelling of "gray").  Roy's Flakes is a reference to Dad-Roy.  Again, June 19th is present.  This tune is a lot like a lot of food-pyramid junk in the 1970's and 1980's about what to eat and not eat.  The FDA in the US made-up cartoon-like educational programming to get kids to eat certain things.  Unfortunately, the warning were incorrect and the food-pyramid tends to rotate about its axis every 20 years or so.  I remember when egg whites were the "bad" part of an egg in the 1970's, now it's quite the opposite.  Kids were forced to watch this stuff in-between "normal" cartoons as mini-segments created by governmental agencies in the US and UK such as "Time for Timer's A Hanker' for a Hunk of Cheese" and others.  These "Public Service Announcements" littered kid-prime-time Saturday mornings with catchy rhymes and flashy colors.  Most of it is bullshit.  Most of it is now too, and knowledge of what to eat and not eat changes every 5 to 10 years but suckers buy into it:  the weak-minded.  Some elements are true, however, but I've known people to only drink Coke-Classic their whole lives, never drinking water or anything else as a beverage and live to be over 70.  I've seen smokers live to be over 90 and have smoked since they were 8.  Some physiology is different than others.  It all depends on the individual. There's no set truths on that.  Some people do better than others on certain foods and things and the body can adapt.

  Yellow-Kid notices amusedly, "Food is talking!"  Bird-Guy is more confused about the dancing steak and the "healthy" message.  The red phone on the wall rings, and temporarily, Bird-Guy finds himself on an operating table, prepped, with a TV showing his alternate reality and an educational program overhead.  He's then whisked back to the scene in the kitchen.  The Red-Phone here is really the Red-Guy trying to warn Bird-Guy of the danger.

  Steak is explaining how a body is set-up like a house (Red-Guy is looking in through the window, helpless to warn the other two).  Steak says the bladder is in the basement and Bird-Guy is realizing this is all bullshit.  It's funny.  I know sheeple who still think the PSAs were accurate fact but most of it was governmental FDA propaganda.  Some never get to the realization as Bird-Guy does here.

  Yellow-Kid is enthralled and Steak says that good food gets to stay and meet everyone for a party.  (Another obey and get rewarded with a party reference).  Bad food has to leave through the "cat-flap" and is very rude.  Bird-Guy says, "That doesn't make sense." and Vegi-Can sings angrily over him to shut him up.  He's not buying-in to the child-developmental programming like Yellow-Kid since he's growing-up and having self-awareness and realizes it's all BS.

  The reality-Red-Phone rings again but Vegi-Can distracts the call with a snack-rhyme.  Bird-Guy balks but Steak says that the food-groups can be sorted in a chart.  The chart is very interesting.  There's the cigarette/milk group, gel / corn group, fish group, curry group, chicken-leg group, red-squiggle-group, sausage group, fancy-foods, mushroom-group, plain foods, lettuce, cheese, can of veggies, and soup / pepperoni-slices group, and green-apple group.  There's another yellow-gold-stacked-coin group I can't make-out.  Might be french-fries group.  There's a can of food that Steak and Veggie-Can want the Yellow-Kid to eat in the Plain Foods section that later is actually the face of the Bird-Guy.  There's a mouse/rat hole in the wall.

  Steak insists on plain "looking" foods such as bread, cream, white-sauce, and aspic keep the body "ticking-over" just-nicely.  Veggi-Can and Steak scour at fancy, show-offy-foods like cooked-meat, fruit-salad, soil-foods (veggies), and yolk (egg yolk).  These will "plug-up the body with unnecessary detail".  Steak then stabs at the model of the body and says, "Oh, no, look!  It's all broken and on the floor!"  Steak intentionally stabs and destroys the model for effect to prove a point, not unlike PSAs of the 1970's to nail-it-home to force-educate kids on TV.  It's interesting to note Red-Guy tries to manifest himself in almost every scene, as spaghetti, etc., trying to warn Bird-Guy.

  The Fridge starts singing and there's a yellow-sticky on it that says, "Help" and Red-Guy is shown briefly inside the microwave oven. The camera tilts and Dad-Roy is peeking from the corner of the TV studio-set!  Bird-Guy escapes saying he doesn't want to listen anymore.  Things go dark and something is hovering over Bird-Guy in a POV shot with the TV still going-on about pizza.  Pizza is replaced with "plain white sauce" which is what was originally recommended by Veggie-Can.  Steak then says that no, plain white sauce makes your teeth go grey (happily) contradicting himself a few moments ago, adding to the confusion to Yellow-Kid who's alone now with Steak and Veggie-Can, trying to learn.  This is a fine example of how PSAs would contradict each other over time, really messing with '70s and '80's kids' heads.  Our truths were ripped apart on an annual basis by seemingly friendly, animated song.

  Bird-Guy is being eaten alive by food at this point.  

Dad-Roy watches from above

  The Fridge is singing about that everybody's teeth goes grey anyway, and that you just need to eat yeast, another issue about PSAs how it changes and rules and teachings change about health.  Too much yeast makes your teeth go grey as well, so there's the trap.  Steak and Veggie-Can are arguing about onion-paste and a stranger's plate is a bad idea and Red-Guy pops-up as a plate of spaghetti.  Cans of Bird-Guy are everywhere and Yellow-Kid is alone in the dark, fat from eating Bird-Guy microwaved cans (expiration date 19-06).  The red phone rings for him.

  End credits show Red-Guy still alive, walking from work with a briefcase as an adult in the rain.

  This episode is very freaky and there's a lot of hidden parts.  It's of course weird but accepted that food that is to be eaten is convincing the kids what to eat and ends-up eating them from the inside-out.  You can see the red-phone in a booth at the end, the Red-Guy walking from it to try and warn Bird-Guy on the other red-phone.  He's failed or succeeded?  Bird-Guy escapes the lies of PSA mascots but to what end?  Roy-Dad in the phonebooth.
  When Bird-Guy (apparently named Ducky) is being consumed by food, it's an allusion to many people you might know that are consumed mentally by the concept of "eating healthy".  So many folks I know are told by the media that they have to "eat healthy, smart" etc.  Honestly, it's based on the individual's physiology and several other factors, but some get psychotic about certain foods that people tell them is right.  Yellow-Kid is eventually eating what Ducky (as an older friend) is "dishing out".  Then Ducky is gone forever, either dead by faulty but programmed health-food crazes or gone "mentally" so that their friendship is no more.  Yellow-Kid tries to eat what Ducky has dished-out, bloated upon it, but now all alone.
  Not eating from a "stranger's plate" confuses Yellow-Guy further.  He tries to keep-up with the PSA mascots' advice that keeps changing, ie. "Eat plain, white-sauce" then "DON'T eat plain, white-sauce, it'll make your teeth go grey!"  Governmentally-controlled television has done this over the years, changing "what's healthy" every 10 years or so.  Finally, Yellow-Guy eats something NOT a stranger (his friend, Ducky) in desperation to keep-up with mascots' rules, taken-in by the song-and-dances.  Ultimately, he gets fat, and "healthy" advice didn't work.  All lies, the mascots are long-gone.  This was huge in the 1970's and 1980's.  I remember advice contradictory to current health advice back then.  One could argue "we're smarter about it now" but some of the 1970's advice is now 2016 advice, coming full-circle.  If you buy-in to Health-Magazines then you're slave to mind-control.
  There are a lot of theories about this one.  What's yours?

Chippy-time!

Burgers!