So a good portion of the Colorado wildfires are out, thanks to hundreds of firefighters across the nation. We can't let this happen! Fire is a living thing and now it's endangered! Only you can help to keep fires alive! Does anyone remember the 1991 film, Backdraft ? Decent film for its time. It's explained there that fire is a living thing: it eats, it grows, it reproduces by igniting other locations. We need to preserve the right for fires to stay alive! We could put them in zoos! Forest fires replenish the aging soil and create jobs, something Obama can't seem to accomplish (at 4 years there's no way it's Bush's fault, eh ultra-liberals? Stop drinking your Kool-Aid and look around.) The jobs of.. FIREFIGHTERS! Firefighters would get unemployed without forest fires! For the love of humanity!
Please help by donating to the Save the Colorado Wildfire / Casey Anthony / Jerry Sandusky / OJ Simpson / Obama fund I have set up on PayPal. With a donation of only $1000 we can save a full acre of fires that can live and thrive on the homes of the rich and violently wealthy, extreme left-wing, tax-dodgers of Waldo Canyon, Colorado! You betchya! Those guys get off scott-free from taxes this year! With a simple $1000 donation, you get a free Bic lighter! For a generous $10,000 donation, you can get a Doctor Who scarf and a small acetylene torch! For the most generous and understanding a donation of $100,000 you can receive the "Fire Founders" plaque, the scarf, the lighter, and a free trip to Colorado where you can start your very own burn-the-violently-wealthy-rich-guy-neighborhood tour de Force de Luxe!
As Smokey the Bear says, "Only you can save forest fires!" Save a forest fire today.
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