Say Goodbye to Gravity

 

 

  I think my 2008 Ninja 250R was jealous and fussy.  I sold my 2005 Honda Superhawk 996 VTR1000 and now she has no one to talk to, so I decided to ride the bike this morning to get some breakfast at the "Hop of I" (honestly a truly beautiful morning) and get some "Simply Heinz" (aka sugared, non-corn-syrup ketchup) and some coffee filters at WalMart next door.  It's weird about coffee filters that you buy 'em in packs of infinity or so, but eventually, after a few years, infinity runs out, and you have to get more infinities worth of them.  I think one pack of them could easily cover the Earth and Neptune and two packs could shroud the Sun.  Four packs could contain the Oort Cloud and no one has ever seen five packs of them in existence, though you could probably surround parallel universes with them.  You get a lot for a dollar.

  I take the bike out of the garage and face her nose-towards the end of the driveway and put her on fast-idle to warm up with full choke and turn around to go get my spear and magic helmet.  Then.. Ka-DUDGE!  from behind me.  I turn around and the bike had vibrated enough such that the downward angle had nudged the kickstand forward and, well, Ka-Dudge.

  I profane like a Mormon, "ah, frack!" and go over and easily pick up my ultralight, the vintage smell of gasoline pouring through it's innards in ways it shouldn't, being on its side, and through the vent hose now horizontal.  I assess the damage.

  Of course, the turn signal on the left side is toast and snapped-off as it should as a sacrifice to The Wicker Man of entropy.  Entropy, She wants to make motorcycles fall down and be on their side.  It's only Mankind's defiance that keeps them up.  Side plastics were scratched pretty good but not cracked.  I inspect the left mirror and it's now adjusted in an owl-spotter-of-an-angle, but the engineers at Kawasaki did a nice job allowing a ball-joint for the mirror allowing it to move upwards instead of also snapping off.  The bike is still on and thankfully it stalled instead of some expensively comical rear-tire spin so just the electrics are engaged.  I realize it's not in neutral anymore so when it fell it pushed-in the gear shifter to 2nd from neutral, understandably.  It seems that the vibrations of the bike in warm-up mode was enough to pull the bike forward just enough to allow the kickstand to jiggle backward with the added weight of my dorkiness of angling the bike downhill (the kickstand is kicked backwards when it's put in-place).  I go to put the bike in neutral and it won't budge.  I realize the kickstand is markedly shoved inward.  Classic.  Both the blinker, shifter, and mirror are classic fall-down breakages on a bike, usually costing $100 each.  I was spared the mirror-damage.  I attempt to manually wrench the shifter back from its inward bent angle but it's really not budging so I go get a hammer with a crow's foot and pry it back to where it needs to be with a good amount of careful force.  I pick up the exploded parts of the blinker housing and see if it's salvageable.  It's not, as it's cracked severely in several places, two bare wires exposed on the left side.  No left turn-signal for a while.



  I get the bike started-up and it idles a little roughly at first and then it seems fine enough and I ride to IHOP and WalMart.  During breakfast a small crowd was walking around my bike for some reason, the damage, aside from the missing turn-signal is pretty un-noticeable, but they were smoking and I figure my parking spot right near the door was a convenient walk-around place for them.  I get that a lot, people checking out my stuff.  Shrug. I guess it's because I take care of my things (except when I let them fall kaplooey on the cold, cold ground).   I get back on and go to WalMart across the parking lot, get my groceries, put them in my tankbag, and speed off home.






  On the way back I stop short at a changing light, locking the rear tire and sliding a bit past the stop-line and walk it backwards.  No cars around, I probably could have sped through the yellow.  I realize I'm too clumsy today and should not ride a bike anymore today.

  I get home and realize I'm missing the clear lens cover for the blinker I had semi-salvaged and find it under my Saturn Astra XR some 20 feet away in good shape, it having snapped off nicely and cleanly, screw still in-place.  At least I have that as a spare part, and I carefully park the bike, giving it a once-over one more time (so, I guess a twice over).  Seems fine enough.  I realize the logistics of the situation a little and that when the bike was facing downhill, the handlebars were nominally facing left so when it fell over, it angled left and fell topside uphill so the damage was minimal-ish.




 I go online and check to see how much a new blinker will cost while making some humbled Kona coffee and most places are selling them for $97 but eCrater was selling them for $31 on-sale with free shipping!  I love online shopping!  SOLD!  Not worth getting insurance involved on this one.  In the meantime, left will require an extended arm 1930's style.


  So, overall, pride hurt, and I know the kickstand is not sturdy enough to handle a downward-facing bike at full-choke-idle.  Plastic scraped a tad on the side not too noticeable.  Overall it could have been worse for sure, but these things happen.  Guess I could replace the whole damage with coffee filters.

 

Hand of Fate is moving and the finger points to you.
He knocks you to your feet and so what are you gonna do?
Your tongue has frozen now you've got something to say.
The Piper at the Gates of Dawn is calling you his way.

You watch the world exploding every single night.
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light.
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death.
Hello to eternity and live for every breath.

Your time will come, Thy will be done.
Your time will come, Don't turn, don't run.

The Ferryman wants his money you ain't going to give it back;
He can push his own boat as you set up off the track.
Nothing you can contemplate will ever be the same.
Every second is a new spark, sets the universe aflame.

You watch the world exploding every single night.
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light.
Brothers and their fathers joining hands and make a chain;
The shadow of the Wicker Man is rising up again!

Your time will come, Thy will be done.
Your time will come, Don't turn, don't run.