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I'm dead. Someday, you'll be dead too. |
Since 1971 I've been a fan of the "Monster Cereals" by General Mills, in particular, Count Chocula of course. I mean, it's awesome. Seriously, I'm super Cereal here. (sorry for the South Park reference, ok boomer). Count Chocula and Frankenberry came out in 1971 which was the style of things where cartoons were pushing cereal for kids and there were TV shows about it, such as Post was doing with Linus the Lionhearted who's kingly subjects included Sugar Bear (Post Sugar Crisp Cereal) and some others starting around 1964, though the FCC caught onto this and by 1969 this was a no-no for fulltime cartoon promotion advertising (though He-Man, and Transformers definitely got away with it later-on). I remember Linus and was I entranced? Yes. Did I want cereal from the show? Yes. Was it wrong? No way. Bring it on. Bring it ALL on. We kids loved it.
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In this Linus the Lionhearted episode, Sugar Bear teaches kids how to play with a grenade voiced by Bob Irwin who talked ..smoothly. He would go on to voice the commercials as well for many years. |
I love a cereal with a mythos cinematic universe. I mean, who didn't love 3PO's (aka C-3PO Star Wars Cereal)? Especially when you find out he's a force-ghost somehow. |
Here, Anthony Daniels realizes his career is done-for, so starts to sell-out and push cereal.. and it was delicious.. and he got knighted by the Queen. Some of the "toys" in cereal boxes were very cool and rare and worth big money these days, particularly Star Wars ones. |
The Monster Cereals were the next engagement in the Great Cereal Wars between Kellogg's, Post, and General Mills of the '70s and '80s. Strange ones like PacMan Cereal, and Mr.T's were really pushing the envelope at times, but I always loved "The Monsters". Before that were "The Freakies" when Purina tried to get in on the action; it tasted synthetic but the little monster toys were great.
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Freakies tasted like cardboard and paint, but I loved it anyway. |
Freakies Cinematic Universe
Frankenberry had a lawsuit as it made people's poop turn pink due to the intense, early '70s dye they'd cram in there, so there had to be a few changes and progression so kids didn't get mutations. Ah, the '70s.
What was interesting was Count Chocula was cleverly voiced by the original Dracula's, Bella Lugosi impersonator Larry Kenney, and Frankenberry by an original Frankenstein's Monster, Boris Karloff impersonator, Bob McFadden; pretty apt. For Boo-Berry, they well used the famous Peter Lorre voice (who also did a few Bugs Bunny cartoons), though truly an impersonation by Paul Frees.
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Always the charismatic creep, Peter Lorre was a genius. |
The introduction has the Count and Frankeberry argue about cereal preference. Boo-Berry actually frightens the vampire and undead monster with a penchant for synthetic strawberry cereal, but as you can see, he looks a bit like Peter Lorre if he stole a pie-hat, popular at the time.
In the next year in 1974, Tarantino's (and my) favorite of favorites, Fruit Brute came out for a short time featuring a werewolf who would howl, "Fruuuuuit!" It was quite good, but then again, I was 4, with a 4-year-old's taste palate. This slowly went off the market by 1982.
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Here, you can see all 5 Monster Cereals at-once in their original design.
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Later-on, Fruit Brute would be replaced with likely-throat-cancer-victim, Boston-accented, Yummy Mummy (not Boris Karloff as expected, but this might cause confusion to kids as he played both Universal Monsters). Wiki says it started around 1988 but it actually was around 1987 and was a poor replacement for Fruit Brute, and it only lasted 4 years. During this time, Y.Mummy was featured taking Boo-Berry's place in ads, which was a bad move, and eventually Boo-Berry came back.
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Seems she just got back from the dentist and the lidocaine hasn't worn off yet.
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So.. my problem is the artistry has gone awry. Seemingly to "update" the artwork to "modern" times, people in advertising try to make things seem better, but they're not. Think George Lucas' Star Wars franchise Special Editions. Ugh. The only thing "good" with those were the ships re-done so you didn't have those little cut-out gray squares around them; nothing else was improved, George, sorry. Everyone feels this way, even your mom.
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Why, George? WHY?
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Let's look at Boo-Berry through the ages. First, he looks officially corporeal and shimmery. He truly seems to be coming through an Astral Plane and is well designed. Frankenberry looks a little retared but otherwise, Count Chocula has a Batman thing going on mixed with Count von Count from Sesame Street and quite likely a Jew as well. It is well known Count von Count is Jewish according to Jim Henson though is officially undead as is Frankenberry and Boo-Berry. Fruit Brute is merely lycantrhopic, and Yummy Mummy may be undead as well officially through D&D rules, though more Lich-like and perhaps have a phylactery Nefesh. You could probably off Brute with silver, depending on his "Thayco" To-Hit-Armor-Class-Zero.
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Still largely unchanged in 1979, with a cool sticker that I owned and worked well. |
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Boo-Berry staying chill in 1982. These Catch-Mitts sucked, btw. |
Boo-Berry survived, unscathed in this commercial here. Still the same Peter Lorre character.
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Seems he lost some weight in 1993 but is still recognizable. His eyes are closer together now and seems pretty happy that he has his own "ghost-shaped" marshmallows, which is a nice touch that started in 1986. Still the little circular crosses have been replaced with Pac Man ghosts turned-blue as all the cereals have corresponding shapes in their own colors (ie. Count Chocula has brown ones, etc.)
So far, so good. Boo-Berry hasn't changed too much. In '93 he lost his hyphen (didn't we all? Laaaaadies?) but otherwise it's pretty much the same guy. The main cereal item sort of improved a bit, which is nice. Using the tagline, "How 'bout a Monster for breakfast, today?"
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Delphine sold her bath water for $30 a bottle. Looks like she's having a monster for breakfast as well.
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Around 1996, however, the monsters were animated differently like a mix between Animaniacs and Droids (similar to the animated segment from Star Wars Christmas Special). Boo-Berry got super retarded-looking as such:
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Boo-Berry says, "Daaaaahhh. Blu." Note the clouds and green planet? Is this catering to 420-friendly folks or what? Boo got hit upside the head by the dumb-dumb stick and lost 120 IQ points.
I'm not a fan of this huge change.
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By 1999, he's ironically soul-less looking. He seems pretty happy handing out Scooby-Doo material, but he's not Funky Phantom so I don't know what's going on here. His eyes are vacant and as if he's been tortured for a very long time. I mean, his only friends are a vampire and an undead automaton monster who just get scared of him usually and run away based on the commercials. Maybe the Astral Plane has darker secrets that he's getting tired of? Certainly a basilisk or wraith might crush his soul essence over the decades. My guess is that because of the hat, he may have died in the late 1950's or early 1960's. This most recent image makes me worry for him and might need to have a seance to ask him what's going on? This dumb design continues until 2004.
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Here, you can see he's definitely lost it. He has hooded-eyes again, but he's seen.. things. What's weird is since 1996, his tongue is red where it wasn't before. He has blood then? What gives? This image is around 1997 to 1999. He's dabbling in magic, obviously, and the occult, and he's paid dearly for this knowledge, now he must live with the eternal torment on his Road to Madness.
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To add insult to injury, around 1997, Boo-Berry was temporarily overshadowed by Casper, perhaps pushing the 1995 film's sequels. This impostor is unwanted. Why wouldn't you just put Boo? Shameful. A few months later, they added Wendy from the same franchise.
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The graphics of Count Chocula are become unrecognizable and a bit Cuphead-like |
Then even worse, a "Swirled Ghost" replaces Casper, again in 1997, trying to get off of Boo's fame, maybe to eliminate him completely?
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Does Boo-Berry know this impostor? Did the Count try to summon his own ghost to defend against the impossible-to-defeat Boo-Berry as a minion? I don't like it one bit. I'm pretty certain this is a time vortex the Count has summoned, deeper into the realm of the occult to defeat Frank and Boo, but at what cost?
So, the swirled ghost thing was a flop, so as you can see, they summoned-up all the old characters, this time insulting Frankenberry with actual Frankenstein's Monster, also included are replicas of Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy, but these aren't them. It feels like General Mills is trying to get rid of the other monster cereals entirely.
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I'm not liking this, and the ghost looks suspiciously like the Honey Nut Cheerio's Bee, Buzzbee, now dead after stinging someone I guess. The Count seems quite pleased with himself to a manic level. He only argued with Frankenberry and Boo-Berry was unpredictable and sort of defeated the Count's efforts of wards and who knows when Fruit Brute or Yummy Mummy might return? "These summons are a fine substitute, he thinks, plus they all are on my side! They have no choice but to obey me!" In all of his summons' eyes, they all look like they know they're under his control of hypnosis, but once the spell breaks, they'll likely attempt to murder the vampire. The commercial borrows, "Monster Mash" by Bobby Picket 1962. I bet it cost General Mills a good amount of money for the rights to that. I doubt they recouped their loss. In the commercial, Frankenberry is oddly seen dancing at the bottom pit, as if to gather a Resistance en Force among the others.
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French Resistance, vive la France! |
The summoning spell does not last long though, and are quickly discontinued by the next year.
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Casper and Wendy marshmallows in 1997-1998. Wendy was of the same franchise and movie cinematic universe in 1998, though she existed as a comic character in Casper's adventures as Wendy, the Good Little Witch in 1954. I would have liked to have seen Hot Stuff, the Little Devil instead from that genre.
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So, after a few more years, the images changed again, around 2009 I think.
Here, Boo-Berry retains his purple tongue, but his tie turned purple as well instead of red. Perhaps he's going more into the nether-realm? My only guess is he's fading from this universe further. Still, it's a bit of a return to the original design, though softer. Boo isn't as scary, and now he also has blue eyes instead of pure black as night. Boo-Berry was a bit scary before in my opinion, as he should be. He's just some dude here. Also he's got a purple hat instead of his late-50's pie-hat. Maybe he thinks a more modern hat will help him out?
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Anime witch-girl says, Don't mess with the occult and magic! |
Right around 2009, DC Comics, experts at ruining things, re-did the monster cereal characters. Here's what they did to Boo..
Okay, I can see they tried to bring back a little red here with the tongue and make him a little less spooky. It's not terrible, but it looks weird. Still, as an artist's effort, it's fairly well done. I'm not quite against it. It's still softer than the original but still appealing to "softer" kids of the late 2000's who need "safe spaces" and "time-outs".
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Illyana Rasputin says, "Leave Magik to me." |
So General Foods played off of this with a bad designer. Check out the 2010 box and the right side of his mouth. Seriously? I mean, check out the right side of that face? What laziness is going on there? Gosh. Terrible.
I mean, he's got the side of his mouth sort of falling inward. He also looks totally bizarre. I'm barely aware that this might be Boo at this point. I like his left thumb can be seen through, but he has no body at all, and no tie as far as I can tell. He looks pretty stupid.
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Influencer Ultraviolet is performing an anime character face of Ahegao because she is trying to impersonate, seemingly, modern Boo-Berry.
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For 2016 they make an election to "vote" for one of them to coincide with the US Presidential elections. I wonder if anyone actually wrote-in for Boo-Berry on their mail-in ballot?
Here, we can see Boo has his tie back, perhaps a formality since he's running for office. Frank is summoning his internal Nixon, perhaps hoping for better international relations with China as he had done fairly successfully, and Count Chocula is just thumbing to himself thinking he's an easy-win. Regardless of all of this, they're buying votes, which is illegal. In Pueblo, Colorado, if you voted Democrat and could prove it on your ballot sheet, you'd get a free whiskey shot at a certain tavern. This is, of course, a federal offense to "buy votes", but Pueblo itself is a federal offense.
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Bad boys go to jail. |
A sincere concern here is his look. He's not 100% sure about his surroundings. There's some odd black hole event horizon going on behind him, or the imminent destruction of an imploding neutron star. My only guess is he caused the star to be destroyed, likely to eliminate a pesky race of proto-humans getting real close to faster-than-light travel capability, and we can't have that now can we. Not since last time. It's either that or the dark aging lighthouse from Hellraiser 2, I'm not certain. You can see they're all overly cartoonish now, and cheaply done. There is no respect for the original artistic masters here. They look goofy and over-exaggerated and lazily drawn like West Coast '90s graffiti. Frank looks as if he's hoping no one finds out what he's done with the body, and Count seems relaxed that he knows where Frank put the body and why Boo is dead in the first place and is a Korean War draft-dodger. Boo-Berry is not a draft-dodger, however, but in his Earthly life, he did commit a few war crimes, though not in any war, per se, and people already got paid so it's all good.
For 2017 to present day, Boo-Berry looks autistic at best. He's looking at cereal and jumping white marshmallow ghosts popping out, but it's a far-off stare, probably due to the war crimes earlier mentioned, or the neutron star incident he caused. He's looking but not looking. Looking past. Looking through the cereal to somewhere else. He's thinking about something more troublesome in an autistic way that a kid might equate 21 with green Life Savers flavor. He's not completely aware of where he is or why, or why the Moon is being eclipsed by some other spherical body other than the Earth. The only land is the haunted house of Count Chocula that exists here, and cereal jumps. Reality is not an option.
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Thinking about the dead bodies.. all those souls.
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It looks as if he got a vaccination for Covid-19 and it was an early Pfizer prototype and it cause serious brain damage that is permanent. Sure, his living parents received that big check but the damage is done. His hat bottom can be seen penetrating his vacant skull here, sunken down and inward. There is no brain, just horror of memories past remain.
On the back, he's in denial, weaing Count Chocula's cape, and strangely, ears? Still he's not all there anymore. He's insane. He's gone mad completely, and he's weary of eternity. It's half-hearted a scare. He's just saying, like, "Yay, boo and stuff. Ha." but it's flat and he wants to die further and move on to Carol Ann's light but there's no escape. He must wander the Earth for eons from the sins of the flesh. Oddly, the Pillsbury Dough Boy is wearing a Frankenberry costume. Yandel Gonzalez's Cheerio's Bee, BuzzBee is still dead from his kamakazi suicide attack, possibly to the Flonase girl as he digitally starred in that, faking an Antonio Banderas voice for Nasonex. "Suffering? I do not like being outside. Now DIE!" Sonny the Cuckoo Bird is perfectly content in the insanity by what seems to be a fireplace. Tentacles consider the Dough Boy. Lucky and Frank mock Boo. Buzzbee has a toilet seat he's about to kill someone with if he can muster it as a poltergeist-bee.
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Never wake up to Boo-Berry madness. |
Frankenberry 2020 is also a bit off as you can see here:
He's totally lost the 2016 elections and now he's kind of daft. He seems to have a robotic jaw as well, still sporting his chain suspenders and brain-valve pressure-gauge. He seems content as if after a frontal lobotomy. I do not recommend that procedure, btw. You can see the results above. Frank seems to be aware of his surroundings, however, but he is an undead composite of several graveyard bodies and not truly alive as a defiance to God.
How did Boo-Berry 2020 taste? Actually pretty good. A lot less synthetic than the early '70s. Despite the bad art, it's tasty. Too bad it's not 365 days a year, General Mills. Looking forward to a retro box someday.
Happy Halloween.
Here's a chippy for your patience..
OUT.
If you're inclined, you can watch the disintegration of commercials from the '70s to the late '90s here.