Blog of Awesome: Mayfly Bloggers

A message to Mike Cronis by Mike Cronis

I like it that I pretty regularly blog so folks can eat cereal in the mornings, only to spit milk and sugary goodness all over their laptops in anger/shock/approval/disgust/monkey/somethingisabouttohappy. I get about 100-200 hits a day, which is pretty good on the Klout Score scale for my liking, though a few billion would be preferred, such that I be a Voice that changes nations, but 100 will do nicely, allowing me to conquer a small town and its radio-station so that I can play Van Hagar mercilessly in double-retro-defiance, or better still Van Cherone!

What bothers me is that I search for other blogs, and aside from the brash Best Page in the Universe blog, which I find a bit cruel at times, there are no other habitual bloggers out there. No one with the need to orate? Sadly, FaceBook and Twitter have stolen America's voice down to a few mumbles of comments. Yay, you had a cupcake today? That's so important!!! Good for you!!! Bless your heart! (pinches face off completely with robot-vice-grip of a retarded monster). I've read a lot of FaceBook entries; indeed, I was quite dedicated to the site for about a year or so as it seemed to be the new outlet of American commentary. Sadly, Americans don't have much to say, and FaceBook limits true journalism and comments to a pathetic fragment of characters such that one must haiku any meaning in a strangulated box of despair. Twitter is doubly guilty, stripping comments they so-5-years-ago call tweets down to 140 characters, which, depending on correct punctuation and grammer-intelligence leads to 25 words or so, give or take, though the pseudo-trendy-tween language of l33t allows probably double that at best, not including meta-tags.
Both FB and Twitter yield trite comments with even trite-ier responses. "Smartphone" wielders can suckle the trickle of personalities barely from these offerings, leaving much to suppose. Only the brilliant can make anything of value from such limited space, and believe me, almost none qualify for "brilliant" I've noticed on FaceBook or Twitter. So low, in fact, it might as well be zero as it approaches zero nearly completely, Lord forbid anyone divide by it on an '80s computer, it'd crash utterly.

Twitter makes people seem dumb and boring with such limited tweets and FB seems empty and trite as I don't care that you think Transformers 3 was, "...the best movie ever. Period." without justifying it on a thousand levels because your announcing it like a 12-year-old doesn't quite convince me or the other 2000 so-called "friends" you have. Without basis I cannot digest that as "fact": it comes up as "vomit". I have to confess, however, that I suspect some people only go to a movie once or twice a year so that when they do they're so emotionally overwhelmed they love it no matter what. I think it's what JJ Abrams banks-on, "Hey, it's got explosions in it! You like that, right?" Ahem, sir.

Okay, but it needs more lens-flare on top of the lens-flare...

So I've ran retrograde to the "Blog". I enjoy the environment and it's happily narcissistic, more-so than FB for the eloquent typist and a great opportunity to orate, create, journalize, and vent despite its archaic shortcomings. At least a few hundred agree with me, and you readers I salute.
To my sadness, however, there are so few blogs out there that are consistent. I find a few start-out every other-day and then cease. Some last for a few months, about one per week, then suddenly stop, then start up again a few years later for one or two more entries then are dead. I find that pathetic. Heck, just delete your blog entirely than leave your one paragraph about starting to work-out and go on a diet without a full 3 or 4 year commentary! How am I supposed to value what you have to say? By my standards I suspect you've failed utterly and gave-up like some 1970's movie ending or anything Asian, realizing to improve is futile an accept what "is" without that spirit of American "fight". Sad.

As a matter of fact, I cannot find any consistent blog I'm interested in. There's a lot of housewives with nothing to do and they blog about chocolate and baby and chocolate baby and dishes and baby and emptiness. It reflects on their repetitive acceptance of life, such that they know all life is now for them is to bring-up baby, clean, cook, baby, baby, and finally die, gleaning any kind of happiness off of those things, likely medicating along the way for depression at age 45, getting a divorce, and marrying a bruiser as they look back at their wreck of a life with despair. Not interested in child-rearing unless it involves Aldous Huxley techniques of sirens and zero gravity. It's not wrong, it's just.. boring to me. Again, I'm not against kids by any means, but it's probably not something a lot of folks want to read about. Regardless, these bloggers die-off like mayflies within a few months anyway.
I want a GOOD BLOGGER! Someone with some SOUL. Someone with some PASSION for LIFE! I like to read those things, and someone who blogs often. I'm a fan of that, even if I don't agree, even if it's about "baby". Fine. Blog away! Just keep doing it. Something for me to spit my milky Coco Puffs at while I disagree and comment, "Baby sounds retarded, have you tried a brick?"