Fear of Soil

The Communist Empire launched "Phobos-Grunt" today, which sickens my stomach.  It's a mission to collect soil from Mars' moon, Phobos.  They had landed there about 40 years ago (more like crashed) and now they're returning with more finesse.  Literally translated, it means (from the Greek: Phobos = Fear and from the Russian, Grunt = Soil).  So.. Fear of Soil.

In the meantime, we have hippies banging bongos, refusing to work and demanding their free stuff and smelling really, really awful, and probably making deformed babies with all the drugs and sex they're doing.  America's just fracking around while the Russians are eating us up for dinner.  Putin and his gangster regime must be pleased as it went up without a hitch in a hyperbolic orbit out of the Cosmodrome.  ARGH!

In a joint mission with the Chinese, Yinghou-1 (aka Firefly, aka Shimmering Planet) as the Zenit 2SB rocket had TWO FRACKING PAYLOADS!!!  God DAMN them!  Firefly is suck a frickin' god damn awesome name and my favorite sci-fi.  This hits me right in my heart, folks, that Russia and China are doing this and America is fracking around doing jack and shite.  This administration is the worst ever.  Never before has America been so shamed in its entire history than today.

Yinghuo-1's primary scientific objectives are:

1. To conduct detailed investigation of the plasma environment and magnetic field;
2. To study Martian ion escape processes and their possible mechanisms;
3. To conduct ionosphere occultation measurements between Yinghuo-1 and Fobos-Grunt, focusing on the sub-solar and midnight regions;
4. To observe sandstorms on the Martian surface.
5. Insult the Americans and bury us utterly.

The probe's scientific payload consists of a four primary instrument packages:^[7][8]

1. A plasma package, consisting of an electron analyzer, ion analyzer and mass spectrometer;
2. A fluxgate magnetometer;
3. A radio-occultation sounder;
4. An optical imaging system, consisting of two cameras with 200m resolution, allowing high-quality images of the Martian surface to be captured from orbit.
5. Make a mockery of the dying US Space Program that Obama destroyed last year by closing NASA and the space-shuttle program, making us no longer the leaders in space.

We're so fracked it hurts.  Great job, Roooooskies.  I guess I'll toast a vodka tonite to mine enemies who, like Cobra and Zartan have joined forces against us.. and won.

Well, there is a very slight possibility it might collide with YU-55 asteroid.  Let's cross our fingers as we watch our stock-market plunge to negative gazillion.  Screw you, O'bama.  We're fracked.