In my time-travel adventures, I went into the future, and I discovered Captain Hello. He's a fancy Space Pirate and he's got a penchant for Pez candies and saucy spank-filled adventures. He has a side-kick, Mr. Fancy Pants, shown below. He has a hobby of collecting and restoring antique technologies such as the laptops below. He also has the power of telekinesis and pyrotechnics and didn't like how I smelt.
Finally, we were accompanied by first-mates IG88 and his crew (who were in mortal combat at the time of my arrival, but suddenly became bestest of friends and are now inseparable.) These are IG88 and his Warriors THREE! Marcus, Dre Bu-ta, and Scalliwag McFancyPants III.
Anyway, we went on a long and scary journey and battled all sorts of robo-undead in the future (is now) and stopped the Galactic Empire from devastating the League of Seven Planets. McFancyPants almost got his hand blown-off in a dogfight, but we'll be okay. Treasure for all!
YESSSSS.
If anyone wants to join me, I put an ad in the Denver Post this week here:
Please note that Mister Fancy Pants is in no way related to Scalliwag McFancyPants III and was just asked when I took the photo. As you can see, he was NOT pleased.
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one that read this and heard the sweet, angelic voice of Randall narrating these words?
ReplyDeleteTruly, truly, TRULY outrageous, stoopad!
1997
NOW