Monday, April 15, 2013

Angry Birds


So when on the Atkin's Diet, you eat a lot of protein, and you look for it on the cheap (long pause..)  (Still waiting..  letting it all settle.. and .. okay then.)  So one finds one's self frequenting delicious places like the BK Lounge as you can get about a pound of decent, flame-broiled ground-chuck in the way of double-cheeseburgers for about $3.99.  This ends up to four double-cheeseburgers and it really satisfies as a meal protein-wise.  Love me them cows.  I know it's not soy because the carb count on them is about 1 gram per double-cheeseburger (sans bun) whereas a soy burger will have like 39 to 54 grams, easily taking you out of a state of Ketosis. 
   It makes question as to what actual cheese they're using.. I suspect "American" cheese isn't quite officially a "cheese" per se with its annatto spice it does indeed fall within the "Cheesy Poof Group" nicely, though the original American Cheese was a mix of Colby (rather tasty) and Cheddar, it is no longer this.  You can substitute with a real "White Cheddar" at Burger King, however, at no additional cost, and it's a real cheese.   
  Anyway, when I get 'em home, I remove the carb-y buns and microwave the cooled meat patties for some chow-dy-down (did-a-chock) times.  If I perform the same with McDonald's, the "McDouble" quad-set only fills half the bowl, the BK ones top it off, and are also a bit wider (and flame-broiled, which is tastier).

  So what to do with the buns?  Well, I usually chuck 'em out the back door.  Yep.  Back near the orchard area where they're gone the next morning most of the time.  At first I thought it was Obama voters who were eating them but in actuality, magpies and "racing striped" wren and chickadees eat 'em.  They like the BK buns better because of the sesame seeds, the McDonald's ones taste like foam and sadness and space paste.

"I like sadness and paste!" - said the Chickadee of Despair, cutely.

  What concerns me is that there is a little bit of meat particulate on the patties still, as well as some cheese; just a little, mind you.  The birds eat this.  Vegetarian, non-sporting, non-carnivorous birds like sparrows and what-not.  What bothers me is that.. they're eating .. cow meat. Invariably, in their hunger, they can't quite avoid a tiny amount of it; and cheese, and a bit of mustard and ketchup.. but mostly, cow. There's a smidge of pickle vinegar as well, and the baked bread, of course. Just a smear of the blood of cow.. what's.. what's happening?  What am I creating?  Do they get the taste for blood?  Am I making omnivorous chickadees?  Worse still, if they get the taste for it, will they seek it out themselves by migrating to Greeley, Colorado?  DOOM!!!

Here kitty kitty SQUACK!


  1. I want a cluck, moo, potato wedge, moo, cluck and horse burger please. I want that burger chair. Where can I get that chair?