Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Breakfast Machina


  Being an engineer, I'm not sure why I currently haven't created a breakfast-making machine.  You know, the ones that are in '80s movies that are unnecessarily complicated that drop down an egg through a ridiculous path, being cracked and landing in a frying pan while another flips a pancake nearby and one dumps milk into robot-poured dry kiddie cereal?


  I should have made this contraption by now.  There's no reason why I don't have some overly elaborate breakfast-making machine with roller-coaster egg-delivery and some trapped but content hen in a cage at the start of it with freshly-made pancake batter and bacon strips sliced and deposited onto hot iron pans!

Folks rioting, partially fueled over a judicial ruling, partially from their own failings in life, partially from weak-minded mob-mentality ignorant wildfire.  In this case, they're angry the public library closes early, because they want to read more of James Madison's memoirs, but the library only has 9 copies.
  I suspect the mini-retard-riots that were sparked by an internal frustration disguised as a disagreement of the court systems concerning a neighborhood-watch guy being sucker-punched and cold-clocked by a trespassing, drug-using 19-year-old, 200-pound, nearly-6-foot thug because he asked him simply to wait there while calling 911 while the watchman's head was being bashed into the ground and finally retorted with a desperate, last-ditch-effort single-shot gunfire is really caused by the fact that they don't have automated, breakfast-making coolio machines!  Think how many people would be happy if there were more breakfast-making goofy machines!

This gonna solve anything?  Pleased with yourselves?  McDonald's recommends you drink more fruit.

  Silly, silly rioters.  If you're going to beat the heck out of someone to near-death for simply calling 911, don't you think you should be ready to put your own life on the line?  Is attacking someone that worth it?  These rioters..  Do they think they'll do anything but damage and woe?  Would attacking innocents solve the problem?  Has it ever?  Nope.  Evil deeds, despite passion, only invoke more evil results.  Doing evil doesn't yield good.  Doing evil yields evil.  Fools destined to be our gladiators we watch for fun called "sports".  Stop yourselves.  Stop the perpetual doom.. and get a breakfast-making machine.

Buy a Chevy, Bama-phone lovers, all.

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