Sunday, July 14, 2013

Hostess is Back!

Gerry B. told by the Queen of England he can eat a lifetime supply of Twinkies from this day forth!
   So the company "Hostess" filed bankruptcy November of 2012 and henceforth stopped producing such items as Wonder Bread, Twinkies, and sub-companies from "Little Miss Debbie Cakes" as well as "Drake's Cakes" and all those pastry confectionaries.  Yesterday, Apollo Global Management restarted "Hostess Brands" and released both Twinkies and Hostess Cupcakes at WalMart.

The original Wu-Tang-Klan: Captain Cupcake, Twinkie the Kid, Happy Hoho and Fruit Pie the MuthaF*cka Magician

  As a review, I saved the last box of Twinkies in my deep freezer from November 2012 so I can do a comparison.  Firstly, the new Twinkie is about 10% smaller and has more "filling" than before, though the taste is arguably fresher, either by insane demand and immediate purchase, or that my older Twinkie was getting stale (though in its wrapper in the freezer and carefully and slowly thawed). 

Some of the Hostess cakes mascots: Twinkie the Kid, King Dong (yep), Fruit Pie the Magician, Chief Big Wheels (later replaced with King Dong), Chauncy Chocodile, Happy Ho Ho, Captain Cupcake.

   Taste is good with a very slight more vanilla taste.  Very subtle increase.  Cream "filling" is not as fluffy as, say, a Suzie Q from the 1970's which was almost a whipped froth but very similar to a late 1980's Twinkie with a good amount of higher-quality fluff.  Texture is about perfect, not too soft or too dense, which sometimes happens at gas stations' Hostess display shelves.  I'd say the preservatives were backed-off a small amount.

  The Hostess Cupcake is more of a change, at about 20% smaller, much much stronger cocoa flavor to the point of nearly dark chocolate and espresso.  It's as if the flavor was left inside the compressed cake with a chocolate flavor overpowering explosion.. in your mouth.


  Waxy "frosting" is a little more gritty but also less plastic and more creamy, possibly due to it's relatively extreme freshness due to its immediate release today.  Cream "filling" seems to be the same as the Twinkie with a good amount of higher-quality fluff and texture than before.  I don't think the Twinkie and the Hostess Cupcake shared the same cream filling exactly before, but they do now.  I suspect the formulas were nearly identical but not of the same batch but it tastes like they are now for some reason.

Captain Cupcake not knowing his friend Twinkie the Kid is secretly gay.  Kid isn't sure if he should tell the Captain due to the 1980's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy.  In 2015, gays will be hunted for their pelts by proclamation of the Pope.  Fact.

  For those that liked Hostess cakes before, I suspect they'll be pretty satisfied.  I have a discriminating palate and the changes are subtle enough such that most people won't notice except the die-hard fan-extremists.  I myself am being quite scrutinous and find them pretty darn acceptable and barely different at all.  I'd say a 99.5% match except for the slightly smaller size (again only a  tiny bit smaller) but it could have been just my batch.

The 2012 Twinkie the Kid was getting pretty Brokeback Mountain gay towards the end of his life.

  The 1971 Twinkie the Kid cowboy, as well as Captain Cupcake characters are long gone, perhaps on some magical adventure involving Luffy D. Monkey from One Piece, dealing with monsters from the Grand Line, or are fighting Lord Vader, I'm not sure.

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