Saturday, November 9, 2013

McDonald's Fail

  So McDonald's is dropping Heinz ketchup because the CEO of Heinz, Bernado Hees, owns Burger King.  It's not like Hees was going to skimp on ketchup packet quality for McDonald's.  What does the Ray Kroc-formed company expect Heinz to do?  Sheesh.  So now McDonald's will have fake burger meat and now fake ketchup.  Ah, fake.  Actually, McDonald's doesn't use soy as a filler anymore.  They did back in the '70s and '80s though, and arguably were more tastier if I remember.  The McDouble (a double cheeseburger for those living in a cave the last 20 years) now has the same meat content of a 1980's cheeseburger.  Sigh.  Similar to today's society I guess.  Today's pop-culture is vapid and empty as well.  Looking at the current Top-40 yields no one who can play an instrument (which requires talent).  Singing is computer-adjusted for the tone-deaf singers of today so a personality can get away with being a "rock star" even though there's currently zero "rock" in the top-40 right now.  Empty people don't like rich talent.  Maybe it's an affront to them?  I sort of miss the mid-70's when all the instruments you heard were played, not programmed.  Still, I'm working on my album and all the instruments are played albeit not as professionally as, say, Stevie Ray Vaughn, but at least it's genuine.  I'm almost afraid to copyright and release it as if it's not good enough it will bury rock further in the same way a store-bought cake is preferred these days over a homemade cake if that fledgling cook at home fails in some way, not adding enough butter, not getting enough praise.  Remember to kiss the cook!

  Back to McDonald's (I strayed a bit), I find the burgers have been.. lacking the last two years. One's very nearby me so I visit it once a week or so.  Even Burger King is in a slump, and to keep the cost of the burgers at $1 have shrunken the meat.  Where's the beef?!  McDonald's McCafe is horrendous, but then again, Americans prefer bad coffee (look at the Starbucks war-machine).  Actually, Americans seem to prefer corn-syrup.  Look at any pancake syrup these days, even IHOP.  Not actual maple syrup.  Nope.  Coffee itself is a garnish in Starbucks products.  It's a cup of corn-syrup with a little milk, heated up, and 1oz of coffee (that's burnt for extra flllaaaaaayvor) ...  boo.  I've met some discerning folks that like it, but their daughters or family work there, so they get 1 pound free a week, so they'll like it because they're getting a deal (arguably.. 5 pounds of bull-dung is still, well, you know).

  So this could be a great opportunity for Hunt's Ketchup to side with McDonald's.  I've found over the years that Greek restaurants use Hunt's exclusively.  If you're at a Greek place and they serve you Heinz, something's amiss.  Revolutionists!  I suspect McDonald's will play it off with their other side of their unsatisfactorily-sized ketchup packet labeled "Fancy Ketchup" as if there's other grades, such as course, vulgar, or shale-ketchup.  I wouldn't mind a packet of "vulgar" perhaps, if not too vulgar.  Maybe?  

  There's a lot of generic companies out there that make ketchup too that might not mind getting a leg-up.  Heinz uses corn-syrup too, so I get the "Simply Heinz" which uses sugar instead of corn-syrup (corn seems to be in everything now you know, even, as Lewis Black rants, "It's even in the green beans!  Corn is in the green beans!)   It is, you know.  Look at a can.  (Sorry about the dumb owner laughing during the recording.. and Lewis Black has a hint of profanity (PG-13).)  Derp.

Actual sexist ad of the early 1950s.

 So I'm annoyed a tad with McDonald's, not in the same way people are complaining that to post a comment on Google-owned YouTube that you have to have a G+ account, which makes sense, but freeloaders are complaining about rules governing their free stuff (can't wait until Obamacare is in full-swing btw, WOT?!)  I just think it's a bad move.  Heinz ketchup is tasty and well-known, and pretty decent, and the choice for most but with Mickey Dee's lowering their meat quality (Taco Bell recently has degraded as well, and yes, that's possible, trust me, Oh Lord Jesus trust me) I bet few will notice.  I notice.  I see all.


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