Tuesday, July 16, 2013

For Fear of White Cars

Incognito white Dodge Chargers waiting to ruin someone's day
 What's with guys buying-up white cars that look just like cop cars of the same species?  Back in the '80s some people were buying white Ford LTDs and now folks are buying white Dodge Chargers, some with even an exterior hand-controlled spotlight near the driver's-side mirror!  These cop-posers gotta stop!   

Undercover white Dodge Charger with hidden police lights (jerk)

  So you're cruising around a bend when all of a sudden you see one of these white Dodge Chargers and you're like, "Oh CRAP!  My radar detector didn't go off!" and you're tempted to mash on the brakes, upsetting the chassis in an otherwise elegant, high-speed, mildly-drifting corner-sweep but you realize if you do you'll probably bite-it so you keep on it (this is for RWD folks, aka real humans, not the sheeple out there who think Toyota and Subaru make pretty good cars and think AWD is the bees-knees and wear sweater-vests and demand a large amount of cup-holders and don't know what a lateral-g is to save their lives).  Next thing you know, you see some punk-arse dude in a toody (a skin-tight hoodie, popular with the gays) lazily taking the bend in that cop-car-wannabe and you feel duped.  Worse still are security guard companies that do the same!  What are they trying to pull?

  I say there should be a law against these posers!  Those, cop-flavored jerks!  If you see a white cop-car that isn't a cop car, smash it with a baseball bat and pop its tires.  You have my permission!  As a matter of fact, do it with cop cars too.  All they seem to be able to do is either give you a ticket for going 5-over or come by the scene of a crime and look perplexed and write a useless report that's "filed" nowhere and does nothing for anybody except some demographics that are unused!

  Slash a cop's tires today!  NOW.


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