Friday, January 24, 2014



  Provenge is a drug that is supposed to help with prostate cancer issues.  Here's a blurb from Wiki:

Actual Provenge pamphlet cell for Sipuleucel-T.

Sipuleucel-T (APC8015, trade name Provenge), manufactured by Dendreon Corporation, is a therapeutic cancer vaccine for prostate cancer (CaP). It must be prepared specifically for each patient. In metastatic prostate cancer, it has extended survival by median 4.1 months (IMPACT Phase III trial data). The treatment costs $93,000.

  Side-effects are quite mild so it's no big deal, but what interests me is the commercial titled "Tools" that Dendreon Corp. put out.  It depicts an old man doing.. things.  Family things.. sort of.  It's been playing quite a bit and I'm at a workplace that often shows it though without sound, mostly because the people I work with are mildly autistic with acute Asperger's (seemingly) and can't focus a lot of times because the person talking in the TV is apparently distracting... SQUIRREL!

  Interestingly, local bars also have a lot of the same type of people who want to spend 10 times as much for the same booze, as they'll play sporting events soundlessly.  I don't understand the lure of a "bar", though I've tended one for a short while.  They almost never have anything high-quality and charge as if it's liquid platinum.  Well, you do get to sit with a bunch of loser drunks I guess, and get to pay $5 for a game of broken-billiards missing 3 of the balls, table at a tilt, and damn-near felt-less.

  So I'll point-out the sections of this Provenge commercial, "Tools" and you might be able to see what I see.  It's clear that the intent was to show an older gentleman needed around the house and represents a strong, still-helpful figure, but.. I see something else.  Please enjoy:


  Okay, so let's break-down this video.  I recommend re-watching it with no sound.


Act I - The Betrayal


0:00 to 0:06 - Elderly fellow we'll name "Falcor the Destroyer" grabs a monkey-wrench and pretends to tighten a bolt for a seat on a girl's bike.  We'll name her, "Jennifer".  It's an odd place for a monkey-wrench amongst fixed-wrenches.  Odd he doesn't have the right size wrench for the job and has to resort to an adjustable one.  He seemingly does it once and slaps the seat (which is uselessly off-canter for a rough, awkward ride), and Jennifer looks happy at first as if to say,

"Good, Falcor the Destroyer!  My bike's seat is fastened and in-place.  Something I could have done but, well, you do need to feel useful I guess, ever since you destroyed the Andromeda Galaxy which scientists won't notice until 2.5 million years from now due the speed of light from an Earthly observer."

0:07 - 0:11 - Jen takes a second, more critical look at the bike with a pensive face.  Notice her focus is not on what Falcor has just completed, and her gaze is past the front wheel.  She's thinking.  She knows something is up.  Falcor is dangerous.  She looks up to him, incredulously as if to say,

"Did you sabotage this seat?  You didn't tighten anything!  You just pretended to tighten it.  Are you seriously going to call that good?  I'm only 6, after all, and I can tell that you're retarded." 

Falcor's mysterious, though undoubtedly devilish plan is thwarted and he simply grins, then begins to seemingly actually tighten... something, though it's just a peg, which you can't tighten.

The bike has holes to adjust the seat via a spring-loaded peg-system (like gym equipment), so the effort is obviously a ruse, and Jen knows it.  She's been down this road before.  She'll fix it once he wanders off, but wonders why he goes into the house, and decides to stick around.

Act II - The Murder

0:11 - 0:16 - Old lady, (seemingly Mrs. Falcor, but it's not.  There never was a Mrs. Falcor.  Ever.) could be anyone.  Some victim woman we'll call "Marcy".  Perhaps Falcor has invaded the domicile?  Falcor the Destroyer is using a pipe wrench on an apparently leaky pipe, though it's obviously water condensation not requiring repair.  Falcor then turns the wrench below the drain's flange-nut, turning absolutely nothing.  He's faking it, obviously.  Nothing is being tightened here (just as before, in the previous act).

0:17 - 0:19 - Marcy smiles, thinking the sink is fixed, but her eyes change, oh so subtlety, to that of dread.  She saw.  The smile nearly unperceivably sags. Marcy can't let him know, but she knows what's up, and decides to play along for now.  Marcy hopes she can fool him long enough to call the police, or NASA.  God help her.  Obviously he's up to something diabolical.  The way his eyes flicker different colors in the light when it hits them just right.  The smell of sweat evaporating like arsenic from his elbows.

0:19 - 0:23 - Dishes are washed but Falcor won't relinquish the last dish, which oddly wasn't dirty and isn't even wet despite a sink full of clean, soapy water.  A rogue dish, but a message.  He's seemingly indicating, "You won't live to see the dawn." with his forceful nature.  Their eyes meet.  He knows!  God he knows!

Perhaps he's saying, "I own you.  Don't think I don't know that you know!"  Falcor grabs that carefully placed pipe-wrench he faked-using next to the coffee pot on the right, off-screen.  After this tense scene, she's bludgeoned to death.  Murdered.  A hard, merciless crack to the skull was all it took, and he drags the body into the basement.  Blood trails down to the cellar.  Too easy.  Still, Falcor has to leave town, and pronto!  Fade to black.

Act III - The Breakdown

0:24 - 0:34 - His ancient, 1960's truck's battery is dead.  What a bad stroke of luck for Falcor.  At least it's near that diner.  A passing college student we'll name, "Timmy" helps him out with a jump.  Falcor is trying to get out of town, but Falcor thinks,  "Timmy... does he know?  How much has he seen?  Just play it off, Falcor.  Not one more life.  No one knows.  Yet.. one last look.  No.  The boy's eyes give it away as he drives off.  That meal at the diner will be his last!  He'll know the wrath of the Ancients!"

 Falcor will have to follow him and take him out.  Timmy just shouldn't have looked to the side.  That tell-tale glance.  He'll have to die.  He's seen too much, know where Falcor's going.  Where he's been.  What he's done.  No witnesses.  Not this time.  Not again.

Act IV - The Revenge

0:35 - 0:38 - Falcor returns to Marcy's for the transponder.  Jennifer's on to Falcor though, and tries to make a getaway on her bike.  Falcor tries to stop her, trying to push Jen off, but he's weakened.  Marcy's blood was spotted by her and she had called 911 but was put on hold, the phone dangling off the receiver as she sees Falcor come back and tries to make a run for it.  After two murders in one day this is just too much for him.  He hasn't the strength.  This planet's atmosphere is making him weary.  So weary.  Not enough Argon.  So.. light-headed.  Must.. stop.. her..

0:39 - 0:48 - A neighbor, "Tiffany" helps the girl escape as the alien monarch, Falcor the Destroyer lumbers on like a drunken Sasquatch, mind numbed from the lack of nutrients his body produces from the argon/nitrogen mix.  "Run, little girl!" she cries inside, "It's too late for me!"  Falcor approaches, aggravated that Jen escaped, 

"No one will believe the little girl though.  Right?  She can get away.  She's just a child.  No one will listen to the children of this world.  Fools!   The neighbor will pay dearly, with her LIFE!" 

He places the knowing Hand of Fate on her shoulder, heavily and leaden with the gravity of death.  It will be the last thing she'll ever feel.  The weight of the Hand of Fate begins to crush her shoulder, and he's a bit sad he has to eliminate another human, but it's for a just cause.  The Manticore King will rejoice the mission is a success, if the Legion of Seven still retain power in the lower quadrant.

0:49 - 0:51Tiffany smirks in victory, thankful she's saved an innocent child's life again.  This time The Prophesy will come true.  Falcor's eyes indicate, "You know the price, oh so well."  Falcor almost relishes the events soon to come.  The cries of pain fill his heart with merriment.  It makes him feel alive, like back on Pollux IV, when the Consulate was executed for treason.  His cries filled the francium halls like an opera.  The Revolution wasn't a success though.  Not completely.  Too many had to die that night, so far away.  But here, if it wasn't for that lack of Argon in this puny world's atmosphere, he'd have more power to draw forth.  Her death will not be merciful nor swift.  Stupid bitch.

0:52 - 0:59 - But WAIT!  Marcy LIVES!  From the basement she drew herself to save both Jen and Tiffany.  Tiff was a nice girl next door.  She made her feel welcome with cupcakes when she arrived back last summer.  Marcy draws forth the powers of the Three Jewels from the Sapphire Galaxy and stabs the weakened Falcor in the back with a pairing knife encrusted with the gem, "The Light of Zar" she received as a gift from Prince Tyralix the Just and Tiffany makes a run for it!  She didn't think she could escape but Marcy's last, dying strength holds back the maleficent, evil Falcor the Destroyer and the Revolution of The Manticore King!  She inadvertently stabbed him in the secondary brain center, and he's stunned.  Earth will not fall victim to the alien menace THIS day!  She saves every one of us!  Stands for every one of us!  She exacts REVENGEANCE for all of us!  No.. Pro-Vengeance!


So welcome to my world.  This is what goes on in my head every day and night,  things like this.  I can't escape this room, but I invite you in... for tea.  At least it makes me laugh.  Glad Marcy, Jennifer, and Tiffany seemingly survived.  Can't say the Timmy faired as well though, but that's what he gets for being a wise-arse Generation Zero'er.  Such is the mystery of Life, on this world.

Watch the video again, above, with no sound, now that you've read my commentary.

I'm out kids.  Have a good night.

1 comment:

  1. Honestly, I think the end scene goes well with the "Revengence" link as a closer. Try it.