Thursday, January 9, 2014

Tobacco Illegal


    So the wondrous city of Boulder in its "lefter than Pelosi" stance has decreed tobacco is illegal to be smoked within its city borders.  You cannot smoke tobacco in a closed vehicle or in any building whatsoever, nor can you smoke tobacco outside anywhere in the city.  Marijuana, however, is okay.

  Marijuana has been heralded the "miracle wonder drug" that cures all ails.  I've seen it on CNN and MSNBC!  Wondrous miracles saving children!  It fixes everything and you cannot get any ailment from it!  Tobacco will induce lung cancer from smoking it but since marijuana is "all natural" you are cancer-free!  Not only does it save the economy but it also cures global warming as the heat produced from the embers doesn't even register on any infrared device.  Tobacco, on the other hand is the true enemy.  Many forest fires have been started from cigarettes and cigars, not to mention pipe tobacco!  Tobacco has caused more deaths from heart disease and emphysema over the years!  Should we rename it from "The Devil's Weed" to "The Angle's Cure?"  Yes.  Will people be too high to notice America crumbling thanks to the "Bread and Circuses" Campaign?  Maybe. 

bread and circuses:
1.   a diet of entertainment or political policies on which the masses are fed to keep them happy and docile.
2.   Obama campaign strategy.

  Recent arrests across Boulder county involve children trying to remove marijuana from government-supplied joints and putting naturally grown tobacco leaf into them.  Once caught, they're expected a 5 year sentence and a $5000 fine, during which they will be lovingly "reprogrammed" to understand that even though marijuana "dulls the senses" it "enhances health". 
Jamaican scientists

   Success stories abound for habitual marijuana users across the world throughout history, more so than not.  True scientists were all "pot-heads" because they knew how helpful weed can be when solving mathematical concerns or delicate scientific research.  One Jamaican scientist explains, "Ya mon." before slumping over.  He's almost perfected a spoon.

Jamaican scientist "tim" and his lovely assistant, "Marcy Jingle Walrus-butt" nearly discovering "spooning"

  So make sure all your children get a "leg up" and "light up" today so they can do well in school!  Kids always smoking pot when I can remember back in 1987 always did well after high school.  I'm so jealous of their professions such as "assistant gas station clerk" and "WalMart stocker", "waitress/actress", "newspaper journalist", and "bitch".

  Remember to light up, kits!  Your future is in your hands now!  Enjoy the smoke!  Yeah!



  1. I really enjoyed this post. You describe this topic very well. I really enjoy reading your blog and I will definitely bookmark it! Keep up the interesting posts
    V Smoke

  2. Ah. My point exactly. Keep toking, friend reader.