Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Mullet 2012

I am single-handedly bringing back the mullet hairstyle for 2012.  A lot of guys at work missed my Snake Plissken-style haircut of 2010 (complete with Russian urban cammo-pants and official 1930's Plissken motorcycle jacket) but the hairstyle itself led to annoyances of my convertible and avid motorcycling (plus yes, you have to blowdry it or it'll stay wet until the next day's shower and yes you have to put some kind of leave-in conditioner as Colorado has a humidity of 11% usually year-round so it'd otherwise friz to oblivion like an Afro-cut).  The wind of Colorado is pretty much constant in Colorado Springs so it required constant brushing and maintaining and preening and, well, that's just too much bullshit, nevermind driving top-down in my Saturn Sky Turbo where interestingly, by way of physics, air rushes from behind you while driving due to a Coriolis Effect making loose ends whip into my eyes despite my attempts at pony-tailing it or wearing a hat (a few rogue strands would seek vengeance into my eyeballs making 160-mph+ driving.. uncomfortable and blinding).

So, I got the standard, business haricut by way of taking Captain Kirk's photo to my favorite barber: 99 Floyd's (thanks to a nice guy named Faisal's suggestion) that uses a straight razor, hot towels, etc. 

Back in November I told folks I'd be getting a mullet for 2012, announcing, "MULLET 2012!" campaign slogans.  Women were nonplussed but guys were finding my quest heroic.  I've now managed to get it about mullet-length in the back (maybe a few more inches) as it almost completely covers the back of my neck.  Still though, the front is long and needs to be feathered ala MacGyver.  Once complete, I'll post a photo.

The modern mullet is not as extreme as Joe Dirt'e, extremely long and flat in the back.  No, it simply reaches the bottom of the collar in a bit of a wave, nor is it as "spikey" in the front.  That's simply in bad taste.

No.  Bad form, sir.

Still, my quest seems to have created an all-male rally-cry, as movie actors are also getting mullets in recent movies.  Russel Crowe, and others I've noticed are embracing neo-mullets in Hollywood.  More and more people have noticed that I, Mike Cronis am getting a mullet and others are following suit.  I remember back in 1984 in high school I was the first I noticed in getting the feathered mullet to which point the entire school did so of 1800 students (females as well, interestingly, though more layered and Farrah Faucet styled).  I also was the first to introduce the black Reebok hightop leather sneaker (which I am also bringing back next month).

Stay-tuned for more mullet-hightop goodness.


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