Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Jungle

  Since when did The Jungle become The Rainforest?  It's the same damn thing!  Granted, some jungles don't have as much rain as others, though often the jungle floors have perpetual rain due to the leaves and monster droppings above, not unlike "marine snow" which falls down continuously in the oceans' Abysmal Zones and Hadal Zones.  I guess it makes it nicer sounding than, jungleRainforests evoke a sense of bio-equality and balance, possibly unlocking the secrets of medicines and Nature.  Often, kids are tricked by KoolAid-drinking teachers who lick paste (either or both, it doesn't matter) by way of coloring books showing exotic toucans and playful monkeys around tasty fruits and gorgeous flowers.  Well let me tell you something, bud.  I've been in these so-called rainforests and I'd just like to say that there's nothing nice about them:  hot, wet, full of infinite dangers at every turn!  Evil spiders, starving and stalking jaguar, poison fruits and carnivorous flowers and insects infected by fungi in their brains that explode.  No jokes.  It's an evil place that should be nuked immediately due to the peril of it's mere existence, lest we all become zombies ourselves!!!  (Go to 3:20)

"Rainforests are the DEV-IL!  We've got to KILL the DEV-IL!"

I agree, Gwenyth, for once.  I agree.

  A co-worker mentioned that "Concrete Jungle" sounds a lot more cool than "Concrete Rainforest".  I mentioned, "What about Seattle?"  His reply?  "Good point."


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