Saturday, December 10, 2011

I grade your kids' drawings again!

Yay, it's December, and it's time for me to grade some kids' drawings again!  HooRAY!  Yay!  Okay, let's see what we have here first...

Oh, how pretty.  We have a wonderful drawing entitled, Singing in the Rain.  Nice it's titled, as it gives reference to Gene Kelley's masterpiece film?  No.  As you can see here, the hailstorm is confusing the victim as the male, with knife in left-hand (and therefore a south-paw and therefore an undesirable evil man by some cultures) has just murdered the flat-chested girl with short hair for not shaving her pelvic region by slicing open her throat.  He grins in victory.  He's been waiting for this for so long.  Behind him, the voices in purple are calling out to him, but he can't hear them now with the falling hailstones.  She tried to defend herself with a pair of scissors but it was too late.    The melting hailstones will wash away the blood of her failure to him, for the last time.  Grade: F.

This one's called, Snowman Eyelashes for some reason.  Five onlooking, naked and erect Buffalo Bills from Silence of the Lambs have just murdered a small boy, the leader with dagger in-hand looks on, approvingly of his work.  The parents had described the yellow lines on their faces as "teeth".  We all know it's the hidden, defiant smiles within their souls giving themselves away.  I'm not sure why they killed the boy.  Probably because it failed to put lotion in the basket.  Notice the bloody stumps for feet.  They hated their feet and cut them off long ago, but the scars never healed.  I think I hear the police outside.  Grade: F

One might think this is a pleasant scene in the titled work, A Peace of Serenity.  It is not.  The earth's sky has inverted such that clouds are now blue and the sky is white.  The Earth has become a greenhouse in this dystopian future and the sun has swollen and is burned-off all animal life.  A solar flare is visible, barely through the white cloud-cover in brown, it's deadly energy soon to take-out the last of life.  Mountains have heaved into impossible angles, and a tree has cancer from it with a black spot prevalent.  Carnivorous tulips are thriving for now, however.  Such a dim outlook.  Grade: F

Untitled work here, a family of legless snowmen, doubtful of reality with no mouths, they can't enjoy the gifts bestowed of candy-canes.  There's only 3 candy-canes but 5 of them.  Luckily, there's seemingly 5 presents, all Glocks to shoot themselves in the head with.  The father has a hat behind is head and merely wants happiness, but it never comes.  Mom's hat is also stuck to the back of her head and is very dubious of her wish as well.  Peace will never come.  Another, younger male wants no homework and does want "fun" whatever that might be.  The second-youngest child wants cakes and sweets, the youngest wants not just a present, but lots of presents.  One isn't enough.  The elders here want only to be happy and left alone, but the kids want a selfish existence.  Peace will not come of this.  They also don't want to educate themselves or earn anything.  This reminds me heavily of the Occupiers creed on Wall Street: to be uneducated and get free stuff.  This Obama-based communism can only lead to destruction.  I like to think the 3 candy-canes are also guns to trick the younger ones into shooting their own heads off supplied by mom and dad.  The presents are empty decoy boxes.  At least it'd give the rational adults peace (and happiness).  Grade: F

I got nothing for this one, though mommy should ask her daughter if Uncle Jimmy has been a good babysitter or not.  Grade: F

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