Sunday, May 6, 2012

Hot Probl3ms


Some people are in the dark about a few things going on in the Universe right now, aside from Class-X solar flares due to the 11 year solar cycle bombarding Earth.  On a hot Friday on base my parked Honda Superhawk VTR1000F sportbike's kickstand sank into the softening asphalt and as a result dug all the way through down 5 inches and it toppled on its left side and lie there for several hours.  Becky had alerted the Security Forces for a docket  as she was getting on her Honda CBR F4i when she noticed the disaster and two military were kind enough to put her upright before I even got there.  As motorcycle owners know, when a bike ain't upright, it usually costs about $1000.  Sure enough, despite my frame sliders (which saved the tank from damage) it got scratches on the tail cowl and left main fairing, and jammed the clutch all wickity-whack, though also spared were the turn signal (though the cover got a tiny bit scratched cuz' it landed on a curb) and the shifter (usually the first to go).  The mirror was scratched as well; the outer-casing of it anyway.  The left fairing was jammed hard inward causing the windscreen to buckle as it landed on the curb.  Pretty sad overall.  Worse still, I had my insurance set to $1000 deductible.  I remember setting it to that because I assumed that if I ever crashed my bike, it'd be a total loss.  Nope.  I wasn't even near it.  Rather sad.  Becky came up with a solution though, to borrow against my 401k which had just enough to lend from to solve for the potential damages, though I haven't had it estimated since I'm "up north" on a business-like trip.  Blah.  I made the Geico claim to the lizard-king and there's no statute on the duration of my estimation, towing from my house, or repairs, which is nice.  I rode the bike home and discovered the clutch didn't work.  Riding a liter-bike sport-bike with no clutch requires.. finesse. 
  Worse still, The Anti-Bard Rebecca Black has a new arch-villain.  It's as if she's the Joker and now The Penguin and The Riddler just showed up.  Song's called "Hot Problems".  It's really horrible and the duet is tone-deaf and sing like Fishwives from Brooklyn.  A lot of folks at work didn't know what this was so I'm posting the Hell Video of Disaster for all to endure.  Yay, verily be wary of the Bandersnatches that croon sheer doom and wail the cry of the Banshee! 

They had "Hot Problems" and I had one too.

1 comment:

  1. This video is nearing 1 million NEGATIVE reviews on YouTube in only 2 weeks! Feel free to go there and cast your THUMBS DOOOOOOWN.