Sunday, May 13, 2012


  Stats are pretty important.  Short for statistics.  I checked the stats of my Blog of Awesome and the number two viewers of it are Ruskies.  Yep.  The freakin' CCCP, and not Black Widow from The Avengers either.  Nope.  Real, honest-to-evil Commies.  Ah, Commies. The sworn enemy of .. me.

 Well, hope you guys enjoy reading my stuff.  I wonder how well Google Translator does?  I wonder if it bemuses them that I want their country enveloped in fire and gamma radiation for all eternity?  Well, they're halfway there with the cyberpunk'ed Chernobyl.  Yep, there are squatters there and have created their own out-of-law city that Putin and his gangsters won't even bother with anymore.  A lot of them live in the multi-underground complex military base nearby.  I think it's about 5 levels down.  Any Ruskies can correct me on that if they feel up to it and aren't afraid of being shot by giving out intel.  Poor fools.  I admire their convictions, sort of the way we used to be back before we got overthrown by gays.  They're everywhere now.
  D&D had us roll stats for our characters for different encounters.  Nerds like me would try to work-out what our own, human stats might be, based on the same scheme of 3 six-sided dice for Strength, Intelligence, Wisdom (ie. common sense), Constitution (ie. ability to not get sick), Dexterity, and Charisma (ie. likability).  I don't think anyone I knew was bold enough to give themselves an 18 out of 18 on any statistic.
  D&D also used to give stats for one's alignment based on the official "Alignment Chart".

  By using the alignment chart, a person could act-out their character better; for instance, if one was "Chaotic Evil" one might take the pleasure in the suffering of others.  Interestingly, some of the alignments "wrap around" in the sense that an extreme "Lawful Good" character might have "Chaotic Evil" tendencies.  An example of this is a Paladin (a very very good knight who loves his country and God) might take delight in the suffering of sworn enemies to his country who hate God.
  I recommend taking an alignment test every quarter to see how your brain matches up. 

  Now the test above is not an end-all be-all.  It might be skewed a bit.  Here's one more:
This one's more modernized and makes more sense...

 Anyway, as usual (and as a bard I should score as):

Neutral Good

You scored 55% Law vs Chaos and 72% Good vs Evil!

I'm actually glad I scored Neutral Good again.  I don't try to.  I just answer as honestly as possible based on how I feel.  I think that one's alignment affects one's stats.  I'd warrant most sports players are Neutral Evil (aka pretty darn selfish) despite fans wanting to believe otherwise.  I don't know why we idolize these villains who get off easy in courts for their crimes.  Aw, heck.  Not all of them are villains.  Not like this:

  Some folks think there's an additional two stats that should be considered: Luck and Comeliness.  I'd have to agree.  Someone can look ugly with low Comeliness but have high Charisma.  One can be ugly but charismatic, such as Darth Vader or David Lee Roth or Chuck Barris.  Luck is well, just dumb luck.  Some folks got it and some ain't got none.  I figure luck balances itself out though.  If you have a string of bad luck, good luck will come your way to balance it out; either that or you're payin' for a slight, like in the GREAT show My Name is Earl.  Honestly good on every level.  Dave can't get over the mustache though.  GET OVER THE MUSTACHE!  Sheesh!

  So feel free to post your scores from the OKCupid site and shove 'em in here.  You can sign-in as Anonymous which is okay as I set anonymity as an option if you want, or if you don't have an account or don't subscribe then you can tag your name or username along with it.  Curious how you did!  To make it easier, I'll add a poll (on the side) so you can rate your score.


  1. "I can ate TWO wayners!" - Pee Wee Herman

    And it's Chuck BARRIS!

    Chuck Berry was a black man who had a huge hand in popularizing rock 'n' roll music (...if you wanna dance with me). Know what I mean, Verne?

    So, before mentioning how I got disctraced by Ms. Pressly's smokin' hot butt-naked posterior here, I'm going to try and cut and paste what I found. The OKCupid link didn't really go to a particular test, by the way.

    From the D&D test:

    Based on your answers to the quiz, your character’s most likely alignment is Neutral Good.

    Neutral Good

    A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. The common phrase for neutral good is "true good." Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias toward or against order.

    --excerpted from the Player’s Handbook, Chapter 6

    From the test that I took on OKCupid:

    Your result for The LONG Scientific Personality Test ...

    ISFJ-The Protector

    You scored 27% I to E, 74% N to S, 38% F to T, and 42% J to P!

    The protector type is called such because you feel your life is best used to protect those you love from the pitfalls of life, to see to their safety and security. You belong to the larger group called guardians. You find great satisfaction in assisting the downtrodden. You are not talkative with strangers, but you can chat tirelessly with those you trust. You have a good solid work ethic. You are thorough and very likely frugal. You do not like to be in a place of authority, and will delegate poorly if forced into a lead position. You share your type with 10% of the population.
    As a romantic partner, you are generous and gentle. Occasionally you may be taken for granted because of this fact. You are tireless in providing acts of service for your loved ones. You run the risk of always being exhausted because you won't say no to your partner. You are sensitive to criticism and will withdraw rather than fight back. You wish to be appreciated for your loyalty and whole hearted nuturing. Your values must be respected and you thrive on consideration and kindness.
    Your group summary: Guardians (SJ)
    Your Type Summary: ISFJ

    Thoughts on this? You agree, or disagree?

    Jamie Pressly...WOW!

    Poison Ivy: The NEW Seduction. That's ALL I'm sayin'.

    Don'tcha want it? DON'TCHA WANT IT?!

    Sorry. What was I saying?

    Oh yeah.

    Maybe not the MOST work friendly, but not exactly Brazzers either. HI-OOOOOOOOOO!

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand SCENE!

    That's all for now. We should grab some grub.


    1. Fixed typo and OKCupid link. Try the link now, Quaid.

  2. Uh oh. Is this bad?


    Lawful Good

    You scored 61% Law vs Chaos and 78% Good vs Evil!

    Keep this in mind, before you read this and take it too seriously...

    This test is based on a system of moral absolutes. There is no subjectivity in D&D, as it is based on a fantasy world of heroes and villains. That is why their alignment system is so simple and polar. So naturally, if I were to apply this simple morality to modern day life, things would look very "black and white". That is why I watered down the concept of evil and good. It is very unlikely that anyone who takes this test is a mass murderer or a superhero, so Mean vs. Nice will have to take the place of good vs. evil.

    Lawfulness and Good in a nutshell:
    -Lawful characters are organized and rational. They believe that order is important, and they respect authority. They tend to be fairly rigid in their beliefs and behavior, but this is not always the case.
    -Good characters believe in doing the right thing. They help others when possible, and they are usually friendly.

    Your Alignment:
    Lawful Good, eh? I hope you're proud of yourself. It's easy to live by the rules, but not so easy to have a strong conscience. It takes a special kind of person to be able to do both and not go insane.

    It's possible that you are a bit holier-than-thou, but not necessarily. At least you mean well. Way to go!

    Thoughts? Comments? Does this sound like me???


    1. Being military it's hard to stray too far from "Lawful" as the structure concept doesn't allow it much lest you go "Rogue" (ahem). Seems you're on the boarder with Lawful and Neutral Good. Pretty close call. Sometimes D&D players would say you're "Neutral Good with Lawful Tendencies". Not uncommon.